She said "Hi my love" like there was nothing wrong about us, and as a matter of fact I think there's actually NOTHING wrong in our relationship. We looked at each other directly in the eye, for me the eyes have always been the windows of everyone's heart but just as a sweet metaphor, but today I could know a metaphor can be true. Through her eyes I could see the sorrow and pain my departure left in her heart. She has always tried to be strong to everyone as if she was made of pure steel and her heart, just in case you were wondering, was a though undestroyable rock. Today it seemed that the steel changed into rose petals and her heart, just in case you ask, it surely changed into an incandescent flame slowly turning off because of all the pain.
We had a lot of things to do, we went everywhere in town and we didn't have the chance to have a talk. We had several things to do with friends of ours and with our own family, we pretented not to be distant, to the eyes of everyone else, we were perfect, a perfect mother and son couple, but for our eyes we were not that perfect. It's amazing how she can act that everything is going well when truly our family is tumbling down and it seems there's no turning point to happiness.
While I was "acting" I looked at her, through my "heart windows" I told her I wanted to yell at her a warm "I LOVE YOU" and tell her sweetly "I MISS YOU", but I just couldn't. She was also looking at me responding to my feelings with a "COME BACK I NEED YOU", but she also knew that wouldn't happen.
When the day was almost over we finally talked, she was kind of upset I could hear it in her voice tone which changed from sweet to tough sometimes. She said she was suffering and with my eyes I told her that so was I, but she also said "I'm not complaining about what you did, actually I understand" I could see tears dropping from her eyes, and mine were a complete storm. "I don't blame you" she said "I would have done the same", I said quietly "Thank you" and after that I told her the way I felt about leaving her and dad alone with problems that appear to never end. I could comprehend how beautiful as a human being she is when she said "Honey, those problems are mine, don't worry about them, I'll do my best to solve them" she completed the sentence with a "Stay in calm, I'll be allright".
Finally we went out of the car, and I did what the entire day I wished to do. I hugged her warmly and slowly said "I love you and I miss you", she replied with "I do the same, take care on your own now, keep in mind that I love you too". After that she left and I dare to say she still had tears in her eyes while driving the car, and I dared to say that because I still have tears in mine.
